I'd like to commemorate my 2/3 year of language training with a collection of some of the things I learned about Turkish.
- You only need one verb per paragraph. Any more would be an extravagance.
- A sentence to make in order, your opposite thinkingness' being is necessary.
- The word for cannibal is yamyam. (Say it out loud for maximum hilarity.)
- There are no Chinese cognates in Turkish.
- I can make any verb I want by combining the English noun with the verb to do. Reserve yapmak, piknik yapmak, brifing yapmak, stabyouintheface yapmak, etc. It's quite handy.
- I learned more about running marathons this year than I ever wanted to know. Unfortunately, I only learned it in Turkish, so I can't explain any of it in English. Wait, did I say unfortunately?
- If you can't remember the word in Turkish, pronounce the English word with a horrid French accent. You have a 50/50 chance of being right.
- I have the cutest grandmotherly vocabulary. Knowing Arabic is useful in this language, but only if you don't mind sounding like you're an 85-year-old villager.
- A corollary: all of the Arabic/Islamic/Arab phrases of politeness and cultural awareness that have been imprinted in my DNA? Completely useless in Turkish, and use of them will probably label me as a religious nutcase.
- I still can't use conditional sentences. Luckily, I will only ever need to talk about factual events, so it's totally irrelevant that I can't say, "If you don't clear my HHE through customs in under three months, I am going to sit down in your office floor and scream until you give me my cooking pans."
Yep, I think I'm prepared for post.